Operation Homecoming.

I've been on some sort of blogging hiatus due to writer's block! 

But, I'm back now!

Yesterday marked month 7 of deployment and it's finally coming to an end which means it's time to think about OPERATION HOMECOMING. 

This is my first deployment so I'm trying to take in everything I can to make it the best I can for me and Butler. Today, I heard from two of my friends who have already gone through 2 or 3 of them already. What I learned is:

-Parking is scarce and you need to be there early to get a spot.

-There will be benches on the pier and if you want to sit on them, gotta be there early.

-It may take the boat about 6 hours to actually show up.

-It takes forever for them to dock and to let the sailors off 

-And traffic will be ridiculous.

   

Now, this has ruined EVERYTHING I thought this would be! For some reason I have the fairytale that Butler gets off the boat, drops his sea bag and runs to me and the boys (well not that perfectly, but something of that nature.) 

Now my worries are what should I wear if rains, what time should I make my way to NOB, what am I gonna do with the boys while I wait, where should I park, wear is Butler's sea bag going (I drive a tiny neon with 2 car seats and a double stroller in the trunk), whose gonna take pics son on so forth.... This should have been something I should have started a month ago! We'll see how this goes!

In other news, my Monkey peed on the potty today!! I was SUPER excited!!! Hope this is a good start to potty training!! 

I have so much more respect for the wives whose husbands are on the front lines in Iraq and Afghanistan.

These men have sacrificed a lot. I never realized how scary it was to be a military wife and will never experience how scary it is to be an Army or Marine wife. Not that Butler hasn't sacrificed a lot in the Navy, but as I think about it, they don't put themselves into that much great danger as the Army and Marines do. 

I don't get how my mom dealt with my dad being gone for a year straight in Korea or Egypt. How she didn't dwell on the fact that he wasn't here and how she went on day by day not knowing if they would come to let her know her husband died. She did a great job of disguising that my dad was gone and I thank her for being both my mother and father at times. 

I feel scared and nervous with Butler being secure on a boat in the middle of the ocean away from danger so I can just imagine how she or anybody else whose significant other is on the front lines feels. This Libya Operation Odyssey Dawn has me shaken. I've cried for the past two nights. I know, really dumb. My head realizes it, but my heart isn't getting the picture. My heart tells me to cry my eyes out until he's home but my head is saying he's okay what the hell are you crying for!

I don't think I'll be completely sane until he is sitting here next to me and I can see that he's okay in person.  

My anxiousness is starting to get the best of my emotions. I can't wait to see him home! 

My deployment letter

Dear Deployment,

We are finally near a close. We've had our ups and downs, but I've grown to appreciate you and all that you have taught me. At first, I hated you and really didn't want anything to do with you but now I actually like you (but it's just a tad, so don't flatter yourself and keep appearing in my marriage.) You stole my husband, but we can call a truce since you'll be returning him soon. I thank you for teaching me what bills looked like and how to pay them, showing me that I really do need Butler as much as I rant and rave that I don't, and that I really need to go get birth control ASAP because my boys are ENOUGH right now especially because you're = the mistress that keeps coming back. In all honesty, you did more than I give you credit. Because of you, my bills are lower, less laundry, my grocery bill is twice as less than when Butler was home, I have the whole bed to myself and can sleep peacefully without the snoring! But, I'm really over you now and would really love if you gave my husband back.

Meaghan 

The End is approaching!

We are in the home stretch! 

It's finally time to start preparing from homecoming. It's like a mirage in the desert, we can see it but just can't touch it. 

 I'm a semi-perfectionist so everything has to be perfect, well on my end at least. No telling with the military how this will go.

I've been looking at homecoming banners, and I don't know what I want to pick. I'm still working on it.

Luckily, I'll get to stand under the "new daddy tent" since littlest Butler was born after deployment. 

Tomorrow I decided I am finally going to a FRG meeting. I decided I couldn't knock it until I try it, plus i want to know what I've been missing since Butler can only say so much and is somewhat clueless. I've had my doubt about the FRG and the negative connotation it has really swayed what I thought about it. I just thought that I wouldn't fit in with the wives because I'm not that wife. I'm very shy when i first meet people and especially when I go to places I have never been with people I've never met. Hopefully I enjoy my FRG meeting and become involved with what goes on with the ship. I'm a little nervous though and I usually amp myself more than needed. But this will go well tomorrow, I know it!

I'll keep you posted!  

Today was DJ & Kaleb's first day at daycare or home daycare. 

They loved it, I'm relieved!!

 I may actually complete all the things on my bucket list for the month!

Is it over yet?

shh, you hear that? YES, it's SILENCE. 

The boys are sound asleep. Finally peace and serenity. 

Well,  I was so wrapped up and excited about me and Butler's Face Time, I forgot to let everyone know I got my job back!! So, for the past 2 days I have been working my booty off.
I feel like it's been a week.
Which is one of the reasons I'm in the "I'm ready for this deployment to be over"moods

Yesterday wasn't as bed as today, just worked all day then came home forgot to make dinner and went to sleep.

Today on the other hand, not so easy...
I barely got any sleep and had to be up at the CRACK of dawn to go to work. Thanks to Butler's 6 hr time difference, his good morning email woke me up.
Had a semi great day at work other than rude customers and being on my feet in one spot all day.
Once I picked the boys up, my day went from bad to horrible! Chubby's stomach isn't feeling well which reminded me I had to go to Tricare to switch our insurance back to North region. Before I headed to Langley, I went to walmart to buy Monkey a new car seat cause somehow Destructive Dan broke his belt on the seat. Walking around Wally World and Monkey falls out of the cart onto the ground and is screaming. Panicked and embarrassed, I pick him up and start to proceed to the front, forgetting EVERY thing else I needed but the car seat.
I finally get them in the car and  head to  Langley. I get to the Tricare office and in the car the sign said they closed at 1830. Well, that was apparently just Meaghan vision because the sign clearly said 1630 and it was already 5:01.
(guess I need glasses with better lens)
Gave up on tricare and went to the commissary to pick up something for dinner.
Forgot the WORLD goes to the commissary after work.
Stood in line for at least 30 mins.
Got dinner stuff and headed home.
Get home and it always takes me more than one trip to get the boys and everything into the house, but today it took at least an extra 4 trips.
The last thing I take in the house id the car seat.
Walk in the house and somehow forget I had a door knob and jammed my fingers (not one but THREE) between the door knob and the box.
That was the straw that broke the camel's back.
I stormed upstairs and just sat there dwelling on my miserable day and how Butler should have been here to help!
But, now I'm over it and moving on with my night!

Today, A GREAT DAY.

On a lighter note, today was a GREAT day.

After the disappointment of just having to go up to my job JUST to fill-out paper work, I got a phone call from Butler excitedly saying he's going to be FaceTime'ing me today!

YAY!

I don't know about other ships, but ours doesn't have equipment to video chat. 

(They stopped today and had wifi.)

 So, for the past 6 months I only hear his voice or imagine hearing it over email. I rushed home, just to see my hubby! 

It was about an hour later and I was looking at my husband's face and lips move at the SAME time. 

I was so giddy with joy, as was he, we spent the most of the conversation staring at each other smiling!

It was so refreshing to talk to him, hope we can do it again soon!

On another note, Chubby never ceases to amaze me! 

He learns something new everyday.

Here is today's lesson.

He's holding his own bottle! 

Proud parent moment :-)

I'm not alone. REALLY.

I've been surfing around today reading other military wives blogs about deployment and I finally feel, I'm really not alone. For the past 5 months, I felt like I was the ONLY person going through the pain, sadness, loneliness and everything else that comes with deployment. I felt that nobody else (even the other thousands of spouses that have deployed loved ones) knew how I felt. I know there are other people, but there was NOBODY like me. Before I started to blog, I felt like I was the only spouse whose husband has never met his son or is missing the vital months of their babies growing up. I was the only one whose husband missed their b-day, wedding anniversary and birth of his child. But, after a long time searching for somebody like me I've found them. I'm thankful to have found a group of women who aren't afraid to express their true feelings about military life and  deployments, they have given a positive outlook and this very long awaited homecoming and given me strength to get through.

Military Wife answers dumb questions (LANGUAGE R)

this cracked me up but this is so TRUE. If you ever wanna know how being a wife of a deployed sailor, airman or soilder, watch this before you ask questions!

"Working Homecoming Date"

Those 3 words were the highlight of my Monday. We FINALLY have a working homecoming date to when they come back home! To me this means that there is an end coming soon! Be it March or April my husband in gonna be back SOON! Of course I have no idea when this date is because of  OPSEC I won't know until who knows when, BUT i have a very good feeling it's going to be March. Crossing fingers, thinking positive and speaking it into existence. It's been 5 months since I've seen Mr. B. I cannot WAIT to see him :-)

4 months down, ?? to go.

Deployment. The bittersweet of the military life. Mr. B has been deployed for 4 months and we just received an email saying we're halfway through but there isn't a definite date on when they are coming home. He left early so why wouldn't he come home early? I hate the uncertainty of not knowing exactly when he's coming home. On one hand I love all the benefits of the military from the insurance to the shopping discounts but on the other hand I feel like I've sacrificed my husband and father of my children. Hubbs wasn't here for the birth of his 2nd baby and now he's 3 months and the only way he knows his son is through pictures. He's missed b-day parties, anniversaries and holidays.


We had a conversation about reenlistment today. We have the choice of reenlisting and him being on the ship for another year or not reenlisting and trying to survive in this economy.I feel like I want him to stay in for the benefits and the money but, part of me wants him just to get out and be home with us. I grew up a military brat and always wanted to marry someone in the military just like my daddy, but I never knew what the military really was about because my mom just made it seem so cool when in reality, the life of a military wife is very sacrificial and hard. Don't get me wrong I love the perks of being a "sailor's wife" but I really just wished my husband was here.